The good and the bad of loving too much. I’m sure everyone has dealt with both experiences. What does love mean to you? Depending on what you’ve gone through at this point in your life it could be attached to a good or bad memory. Love isn’t just an emotion towards your significant other. Love can be felt with anyone or anything. I myself love watching the sunset; how the pink and purples blend into the blues while it begins to get dark. I love exploring. I love waking up at 4 am to have an amazing workout and then meditate afterwards. I love all those things just as much as I love making people smile. Love is that awesome feeling that gives you the butterflies and makes you glow. It’s the feeling of being unstoppable. But I’ve noticed something with love or atleast with the people that love too much. When’s there’s too much love there’s also vulnerability. A great example, Robbin Williams. His sole purpose was to make people happy, make them smile, and he absolutely exceeded in doing so. Robbin Williams was one of the few people with a pure beautiful soul. You would think that someone like him who dedicated an entire life to spreading joy would feel just as happy. However that wasn’t the case. That actually isn’t the case with a lot of people who seem to be happy or seem to have the perfect life with money and success. I just recently watched Jim Carrey’s documentary and Lady Gaga. If you haven’t seen them I would highly recommend that you do. Both of them love what they do so much. You can see the passion in their craft. All three individuals have another thing in common; the fight with depression. And unfortunately it all begins with love. I think the one that I felt for the most was Lady Gaga. She made a comment in her documentary that she spent an entire day being talked to, constantly being surrounded by people, but at the end of it she went home to complete silence. All the noise and all the people disappeared and she was left all alone. We all go through this, after a long day at work you come home and it’s just you. Yeah it can get lonely but imagine that on a much larger scale. Imagine celebrities that are bombarded by people overload on a daily basis and come home to nothing. Your loneliness doesn’t seem like that big of a deal, right?
Just because someone is making money does not mean they’re necessarily happy. Just because someone is successful does not mean they love what they’re doing. For the single people out there who think their love life is falling apart because they haven’t found “the one” just keep in mind that not every couple in a relationship is genuinely happy. You are in control of “love” not anyone else. You’re perspective dictates how much love you’re willing to give or receive.
Love can be a tricky thing. If you feel like you have too much love to offer but don’t have that one person to give it to you can end up feeling depressed and lonely. The truth is it all starts with you. You have to first learn to love yourself and then everything else with fall into place. I know so many people that think love can only come from being with someone. And when they don’t find that “someone” they feel defeated. So much so they start falling into this self doubt self hurt spiral. My advice is always the same, “love yourself first and then everything else will follow.” But for some reason everyone thinks my answer is naive. Yeah I’m young and sure I might not have much experience with love but I can tell you this much I love a whole lot. But it didn’t happen over night I learned to first love myself. I’m not going to lie and say it was the easiest thing to do, it was tough. For the longest time in my life I dealt with a lot of self doubt. I mean who doesn’t go through that. I decided to do something about it. Instead of whining and complaining I took an active role to learn what love was really about. I went out and started doing my own thing. I began to explore who I thought I was and who I wanted to be. And would you believe it the person I thought I was was completely different from who I truly wanted to be. It was crazy as if I was a little muppet with no control of my own personality. This entire time media and the cool kids had molded the person I had become. And to be honest I wasn’t happy about it at all. I started to write and do a lot of self reflection and realized that I had become a superficial individual with no unique personality. In other words I was a robot. Doing and repeating things that was “in” at the time. Apparently that was the only way I felt a part of something. But I quickly became disinterested in following the trend and more interested in trying new things. Initially people thought I was weird. Well excuse me for not keeping up with TV series I would much rather dedicate that time to learning something new lol. I would say the first few years of detaching yourself from the crowd can definitely feel a little lonely. It’s like you want to have friends but you’re just tired of the toxic relationships. And it also seems as though once you start to have your own opinions people begin to stray away because you’re “different/weird.” The good news is that by the third year of doing you, being alone, you get super use to it. And once you’re ready to make your grand reappearance your comeback is super sick! You see while everyone else were trending together like little robots. You were trying new hobbies, creating awesome life stories!
Since I started this journey of self love, spreading happiness, and just being the best version of myself I’ve become so much more happier and grateful. I don’t feel lonely even when I’m alone. I can appreciate the silence. I don’t feel hate or envy. I love my life and love to make other people happy. The only thing that changed was my perspective. I’ve noticed that a lot of the people struggle with that. I think the main reasons is that they’re afraid of being vulnerable. I get it. When you allow yourself to be vulnerable you open the door to feeling a lot of emotions, including pain. And yeah pain can hurt a lot. People make it their goal to never or rarely go through that emotion. But the moment you start blocking yourself from feeling certain emotions you also begin to make yourself numb. Numb is not a good thing. Yeah it helps with not feeling pain but it also holds you back from feeling love, joy, and happiness. When you allow yourself to just feel, the good is 100x more better. You have to take life for what it is. If you want to love someone don’t be afraid to do so. If that comes to an end don’t be afraid to feel that emotion too. If you’re going through depression it’s ok to cry, it’s ok to talk about it; that’s the only way to get through it. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. All bad emotions come to an end. You will not feel sad, heart broken, or lonely for the rest of your life. So just allow yourself to feel. Once you allow for that you get to meet a side of you you never knew even existed. It could very well be the person you always wish you were; it’s just a perspective change away! And trust me 9 times out of 10 that “new you” is always much cooler. Try it and let me know how it goes 😘. Always remember your moment is here and now: live it, enjoy it, love it.
You will only ever have two choices: love or fear. CHOOSE LOVE, and don’t ever let fear turn you against your playful heart.”